On Superpowers

Having grown up with a diet of science fiction and comic books (although the latter were more likely to be Asterix) I’ve always had the romantic notion that we all have a superpower, but only those with relatively mundane ones such as brilliant musicianship and Nobel-level intellects, ever find out what they are.

And yet… I may have discovered mine.

Looking back, I think there are many examples of my superpower, but I can date three.

May 13, 2012 and Man City are playing QPR. If they win, they’re Champions. Now, I have no love for Man City, but the alternative would have been United winning and that, you see, would not be good. I’m watching the game, getting more and more annoyed at City’s inability to win – in fact with less than a few minutes left, they’re losing. LOSING! “Right”, says I, “enough of this, I’m off to walk the dogs”. It was only an hour later that I discovered that they’d come back to win the game.


So, it’s a week later and Chelsea are losing to Bayern Munich in the Champions League final. Again, no love for Chelsea, but Bayern, well they’re German. Anyway, with minutes to go, I decided it was worth a try. Turning the tele off, I washed up, taking just long enough for Drogba to equalise. Chelsea, as we all know, went on to win and I think I deserve one of the medals.

This brings us to the latest manifestation. England-Sweden.Sweden are 2-1 up and things look grim. Realising my patriotic duty, I switched to a pre-recorded CSI until we decided that it was a bit too gruesome (eyes gouged out, yuk) so we turned back and guess what? Yep, England are winning.

Now, call these coincidences if you like, but I’m not so sure.

The trick with super-powers, of course, is to exploit them. So, if anyone wants to pay me to wash up, walk dogs or basically find any way of avoiding the game, I’m open to offers.