On Restaurants

I’ve often wondered whether my ideal job would be a restaurant critic, but as I don’t live in London where, it seems, all restaurant reviews are written, that ambition appears to be doomed.

But that may not be the only problem, because I sometimes wonder whether I have much of a palette. Nine times out of ten you see, I find restaurant food bland and tasteless.

I also have reputation, well earned I’ll admit, for always choosing the wrong thing from a menu. I have friends who – and I’m not kidding here – wait to see what I order before ordering something else.


But, having said that, I do like to eat out, and I think it might be fun to review restaurants on this blog.

So to start with, not actual reviews, but my favourite eating places in no particular order:

  • Food – Worthing. Always excellent, last went there early 2011.
  • Crescent Road Café also in Worthing. Went there mid 2011, one of the best meals ever.
  • Earl of March in Lavant, haven’t been there for a couple of years but very, very good.
  • La Coupole, Boulevard Montparnasse. Absolutely love it, but sadly haven’t been for far too long.

The most recent evening meal out was the Swallow’s Return in Worthing. This is a gastropup in a fabulous setting which is well…inconsistent. Sometimes there’s a wow, but more often it’s just ok. This time it was ok, at best. My starter of scallops and pork belly was, yes, ok. The pork belly was undercooked but the syrupy dressing of sweet apple with rocket was excellent, a taste sensation.

Sadly, the mixed grill that followed was poor. The various cuts of meat were tough and tasteless and the ‘rare’ steak was anything but. To be fair though, everyone else seemed to enjoy their mains – from the enormous deep-fried haddock to the calves liver.

Maybe I just chose the wrong thing as usual. Overall not good enough, but not so bad that I wouldn’t try it again.

Far better was breakfast at the Bluebird Café in Ferring. Everything about it is perfect from the setting on the beach to the atmosphere, but the cooked full-English is just wonderful.